Last month, my mother emailed me after three years of no contact. It was my parents' idea. Growing up, they provided for me, but we were never close. I used to watch other families, my friends' parents, and wonder why I didn't have what everyone seemed to have. One time, my mother discovered drawings I'd… Continue reading Family
It's strangely freeing to have no family. To be able to go where the wind takes you. In my case, this involved travelling. Motorcycle rides across North Vietnam. Salsa dancing in the streets of Colombia. Gliding down dessert hills in Morocco. Training Muay Thai in humid South Thailand. But now that I am months away… Continue reading Roots
It's crazy how much space social media occupies in your mind. Having deleted all of my social media accounts a week ago, it feels like the static is gone from the TV screen and I can finally see what's playing. I haven't been able to think this much and this vividly since I was a… Continue reading Connected
Sometimes life fades into a time-ticking, tortuous monotony, as if all the colour has been bleached into film noir. I think about the opening scene from American Beauty, how the life of Lester Burnham looks as bland as stale leftovers. "In less than a year, I'll be dead. In a way, I'm dead already." I mean,… Continue reading Wallflower
I swam 200 metres today. That's 100 more than yesterday. I make incremental progress. The first day I swum backwards, and got caught in a riptide. I watched the horizon recede as the current pulled me away, and I knew I had to keep my head above water. And when the current broke, I could… Continue reading Sea of Anxiety
My mind has always been a school of fish, roaming the rivers in many directions. There is unity in the grand formation, but also chaos as each thought brushes up against its neighbour, creating a ripple effect. But in certain moments, everything becomes still. I am floating in the deep sea, and looking up at… Continue reading Calm
Sitting in these hours-long meetings I wonder, why are we afraid to say what we really feel? The corporate world is made of paper mache. The veneer of formalities overlays empty conversations, with jargon exclusive to white-collars and small talk that is as satisfying as salad. We nod without agreeing and hear without listening. We… Continue reading Office
I lie awake tonight listening to the cars outside on roads slick with rainwater. I have jitters from the dexedrine I took, or maybe it's the adrenaline of hours of exercise. It's warm inside the thick walls of my friend's apartment, though the wind was crisp on my nose tip when I was outside mere… Continue reading Insomnia
There’s a saying that having less of something only makes you want it more. Here is the life you imagine, the life you want. And here is the life you get. Here you lie wondering about waking up in a different time, a different place. Here you are, waking up in your own bed instead.… Continue reading Waiting
The Bearable Blog 