I lie awake tonight listening to the cars outside on roads slick with rainwater. I have jitters from the dexedrine I took, or maybe it's the adrenaline of hours of exercise. It's warm inside the thick walls of my friend's apartment, though the wind was crisp on my nose tip when I was outside mere… Continue reading Insomnia
There’s a saying that having less of something only makes you want it more. Here is the life you imagine, the life you want. And here is the life you get. Here you lie wondering about waking up in a different time, a different place. Here you are, waking up in your own bed instead.… Continue reading Waiting
There is a special concept in the novel 1984 by George Orwell, called doublethink. It's the idea that you can simultaneously accept two contradictory statements as truth. Below is an excerpt: "To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled… Continue reading Doublethink
There are two voices inside my head. One is a record-player of all my worst moments. It is the retrospective realisation that I have made too rash an action and hurt someone. It is the sting of broken relationships, the turbulence of my emotions and the whiplash of regret. It is the addict and cliff-diver,… Continue reading Voices
Dementia is terrifying. Because you can forget how you much you love someone. It erases you as easily and indifferently as a computer software cleaning out storage. Dementia is terrifying because I imagine my past self to have been hopefully naive. And that's a good thing, because it means I'm wiser now. And though I'm… Continue reading Remembering and Forgetting
Sometimes, you have a bad day. You wake up on the wrong side of the bed. You can't find your phone, your wallet or your keys. You're late for work. Again. Things weigh you down. You have looming deadlines. You have mountainous piles of work to do. You fight with your boss, your colleague or… Continue reading This Is Written For You
There's a scene in House of Cards where Doug Stamper, an ex-alcoholic politician, says something profound during an AA meeting: "The most important count I do has nothing to do with work. It's the number of days since April 4, 1999," he says. "As of this morning, that's 5,185. The bigger that number gets, the… Continue reading Hyperaware
Because when you take a break, time stops being expensive. It becomes invaluable. You stop worrying about the time you have left and starting thinking about the time you have. To play an instrument or walk around the park. To learn the things you've always wanted to learn. To spend time with people who make… Continue reading Reasons to Take a Break
The Bearable Blog 